OUTCAST
DEMONS
BY: RANDALL J. MORRIS
This book is a
work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product
of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright
© 2016 by Randall J. Morris
Cover by Elizabeth Mackey Graphics
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or book reviews.
Cover by Elizabeth Mackey Graphics
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or book reviews.
CHAPTER 1
Bumalin stood at the entrance of the
labyrinth clutching a medium-sized rock in his right hand. Most demons and
demonesses entered the trials with very little and it generally played a role
in their demon placement. Bumalin knew he wasn’t going to become a minor demon
after the trials. All he had was a rock.
He looked over at his partner, a demon
named Banish. They had never met before the trials and were randomly paired up,
as neither of them could find a partner. Banish had a sharp stick and looked
like he was about to piss himself. Bumalin thought how stupid the trials were,
since most of them would just become demons-in-training. That didn’t really
help him in his current situation though.
“Let’s just walk forward slowly. We just
need to survive. Maybe we can kill something and then search it for some real
weapons. Sound good?”
Banish turned to look at Bumalin and
nodded slowly. They started moving forward at a very slow pace, careful to thoroughly
search their path before progressing. They came to a fork in the road and
Banish looked at Bumalin.
“Flip a coin?”
Bumalin rolled his eyes.
“If I had a coin, do you think I would
have come in here with nothing but a rock?”
“Fine then. You pick the way. I’ll
follow.”
“We’ll go left. Do me a favor?”
“Yeah?”
“Calm the hell down. We can do this. I’ve
always been told that the weaker creatures are at the front of the labyrinth.
We can kill one and loot it. It’s going to be fine.”
Banish nodded and took several deep
breaths.
“Cool. We can do this. I’m calm. Go ahead,
Bumalin. I’ll follow you.”
Bumalin gripped his medium-sized rock
tightly and walked forward slowly. When he made it a few more feet, the demons
heard a voice.
“There’s no need to move so slowly,
demons. I’m not going to jump out at you.”
Bumalin searched for the source of the
voice, but saw only darkness.
“Come on out then. We’re ready for you.”
A vampire stepped into view complete with
a cape, dark slicked back hair, and a very long sword in his right hand. The
sword was dripping blood and the vampire smiled at them.
“I love the trials. So many scared little
demons. So many ways to kill them.”
Bumalin took aim and got ready to throw
his rock.
“I’ll hit him hard with the rock and you
attack with your sharp stick. Easy.”
Bumalin looked over at Banish to confirm
that Banish was ready to back him up. He saw that Banish has pissed his pants
and was shaking.
“I can’t do this, Bumalin. Good luck.”
Banish stabbed himself in the throat with
his sharp stuck, convulsed briefly after he fell to the ground, and then died.
The vampire laughed.
“Good help is so hard to find these days.
Wouldn’t you agree, young demon?”
“Shut up. I still have a rock.”
The vampire laughed again.
“Right. By all means, attack me with a
rock. I’m ready.”
Bumalin stepped sideways and acted as if
he was trying to get a better angle. In reality, he was moving closer to
Banish’s corpse. Bumalin wound up and tossed the rock as hard as he could. The
vampire stepped sideways and the rock sailed past him into the darkness. The
vampire advanced, grinning at Bumalin.
“I can make it quick for you. Get down on
your knees and bow your head.”
Bumalin got on his knees and started
feeling around with his right hand. When he felt the sharp stick in Banish’s
throat, he gripped it and bowed his head.
“You promised it would be quick. Let’s
go.”
Bumalin felt the vampire’s blade resting
on the back of his neck. As it lifted up and the vampire prepared to strike,
Bumalin pulled the sharp stick from Banish’s neck and plunged it into the
vampire’s heart. The vampire cried out and then turned in to a pile of dust.
His cape drifted to the ground and Bumalin caught the long blade on his foot
before it hit the floor and made noise. He gently set the sword on the ground
with his foot and retrieved the cape. The cape was made of an expensive-looking
black material and Bumalin put it on. He then retrieved the sword and realized
he had no way of attaching it to himself. Bumalin didn’t own a belt. He looked
around and zeroed in on Banish’s corpse once again. He ripped Banish’s shirt
and rolled it into a makeshift belt, which he tied around his waist and secured
the sword.
“I really wish you weren’t such a coward.
I don’t want to do this alone.”
CHAPTER 2
Bumalin continued to move forward slowly.
Even with a cool new vampire cape and a sharp sword, he was hoping he could
just find his way through without encountering anything else. The trials were
stupid. Dozens of demons passed through them at a time and only two or three
became minor demons. Everyone else was assigned somewhere as a
demon-in-training. Bumalin really wanted to skip ahead to his assignment,
especially since the labyrinth was only the first of three trials.
Eventually, Bumalin heard a low growl and
saw a wolf step out of the shadows.
“Damn. I was really hoping I could just
sneak through here. Oh well.”
Bumalin drew his blade and the wolf’s
growling got louder. Bumalin was surprised when it stopped growling and asked
him a question.
“Are you a vampire?”
“I uh… I killed a vampire. I didn’t know
wolves could talk.”
“Most can’t. I’m a labyrinth wolf. I can
talk.”
“So… would you be interested in a free,
easy meal?”
The wolf grinned.
“You think that little of your own sword
skills? That’s sad, vampire.”
“I’m not a vampire. I’m a demon in a
vampire cape and I wasn’t talking about me. I’m not the meal. I’m willing to
make a deal with you.”
The wolf sat, listening intently.
“I know where a demon corpse is. You don’t
want some random cyclops or sphinx or whatever finding it before you do. I can
tell you exactly how to get there.”
“What’s the catch? You get to suck my
blood?”
“I’m not
a vampire. I’m guessing you can get me out of here without running into any
more creatures. Guide me out quickly and I’ll draw you a map on the floor with
my sword.”
“Is it a big demon corpse?”
“He was pretty normal sized. Do you agree
to my terms? Think quickly, there could be something on its way there right
now.”
The wolf nodded.
“I accept your terms, vampire. Follow me.”
The wolf turned and ran. Bumalin followed.
The wolf led him on a path that completely avoided fights, even though they had
to sneak past a few creatures. When they reached the exit gates, Bumalin drew
his sword.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to scratch a map into the floor
with this sword.”
The wolf looked at him like he was crazy.
“You don’t have anything to write on?”
“I told you I’d draw you a map with my
sword. You accepted my terms.”
“Hold on. I’ll be back in a minute.”
The wolf turned and ran off into the
labyrinth. Bumalin leaned on his sword and waited. Eventually, the wolf
returned carrying a roll of parchment and a feather in its mouth. He spat out
both items in front of Bumalin and looked up.
“Draw the map on these.”
“With what? You didn’t bring me any ink.”
“You’re a vampire. I just sort of figured
you would have some blood on you to write with.”
“For the last fucking time… I… AM… NOT… A…
VAMPIRE!”
“But you have a vampire cape and
threatened to drink my blood.”
“I never threatened to drink your blood.”
Bumalin really wanted to just kill the
wolf and leave, but realized that the wolf was right. He could just make the
map using his own blood for ink. Bumalin made a shallow cut in his left palm
and dipped the feather in his blood. He drew out a map on the parchment,
marking Banish’s corpse with an “X,” and placed it on the floor. The wolf
looked at it for a few minutes, rolled up the parchment with his paw, and then
grabbed it with his mouth.
“Fank you, fampire.”
The wolf turned and ran off into the
labyrinth. Bumalin was glad all of that nonsense was over. He turned to the
exit and realized that he didn’t know how to open the gate. He looked around
until he finally saw writing above the gate.
I am greater than
God and more evil than the devil. The poor have me, the rich need me, and if
you eat me, you’ll die. Speak the answer and the gate will open.
Bumalin thought for several minutes but
couldn’t figure it out. He started blurting out random words.
“Apples.”
Nothing happened.
“Tree bark.”
Nothing happened.
“The moon.”
Nothing happened. Bumalin put his sword
back on his belt and sat down. He thought hard for several minutes more. He
hoped talking it out would guide him to the answer.
“Greater than God. I don’t know anything
greater than God. Same goes for more evil than the devil. The poor don’t have…
oh it’s some bullshit like love, isn’t it?”
Bumalin stood and positioned himself back
in front of the gate.
“Love.”
Nothing happened.
“Hate.”
Nothing happened.
“I give up! This riddle doesn’t make any
sense! Nothing is more evil than the Dragon!”
The gate opened after Bumalin said the
word “nothing.” He thought it over and realized that “nothing” was actually the
answer. He grinned and walked out of the labyrinth. A giant immediately placed
a sack over his head, hoisted him over his shoulder, and started walking away.
CHAPTER 3
When the giant had finished his journey,
he set Bumalin down hard on a chair while two smaller demons tied his hands to
the chair’s legs. The sack was removed from Bumalin’s head and he realized he
was in a small, dark room looking at a demon he didn’t know. The demon looked
him over and then began some kind of interrogation. Bumalin realized he was
probably in trouble.
“You drew a map of the labyrinth for one
of the labyrinth wolves. Was someone helping you with the trials?”
“No. I have a good memory. It wasn’t a big
deal and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t cheating. I thought the labyrinth didn’t
have any rules.”
“It doesn’t. You expect me to believe that
you just remembered the way back to
that other guy’s corpse?”
“I don’t care what you believe. If you’re
going to kill me, just get it over with. I’ve had a very annoying day. Can you
bring in a hot chick before you kill me though? I don’t want your face to be
the last thing I see. Any of Vixen’s daughters would be fine.”
“You’ve got a mouth on you. I’m not sure
if we like that.”
“We? I only see one asshole in the room
with me. What’s going on?”
“What’s going on is that we have an
immediate opening for a demon-in-training spot in the Philippines working for a
minor demon under General Lucian. The official title is secret storer. You seem
like you have a good memory and there’s no way you’re becoming a minor demon
after taking three hours and forty-seven minutes to make it through the
labyrinth.”
“You mean I could skip the next two trials
and just get on with the boring work assignment part of my life? I’m in.”
“I’m still deciding if we want you. If I
say no, you’re out of here and it’s time to get ready for the second trial.”
“Look… I didn’t mean to imply that you’re
ugly. I’m sure you uh… clean up nice. I just don’t enjoy being carried by an
ogre to a dark room with a sack over my head after killing a vampire and
befriending the world’s most annoying wolf.”
The demon grinned.
“Yeah… we were watching that. Nice cape,
vampire.”
“For fuck’s sake. Don’t start with that
shit.”
“Or you’ll suck my blood?”
“You’re making it very difficult to not
say mean things about you.”
A demon walked into the room and placed a
wooden box on the table in front of Bumalin. He turned and exited without
saying a word.
“Good. It’s here. This is a minor ring of
power. We don’t normally give them to demons-in-training, but we make an
exception for secret storers. It enhances your memory and works best when a
demon has a good memory to begin with. Some of our best secret storers even
have eidetic memories. I doubt it will do that well for you, but that’s what we’re
here to find out. If you fail our test in here, we send you on to the second
demon placement trial.”
“You gonna untie me so I can put the minor
memory ring on?”
The demon pulled Bumalin’s sword from his
belt and slashed at the ropes that bound Bumalin to the chair. His aim wasn’t
perfect and Bumalin started to bleed a little from his wrists.
“Great. Thanks for that. I was hoping for
open wounds on both my wrists to match the one on my left palm.”
“Quit bitching. Put the ring on and we’ll
give you the test. I’m going to recommend we don’t take you unless you have an eidetic
memory because you’re a whiny little asshole.”
“Come on. That’s not cool. You cut my
wrists.”
The demon slammed a piece of paper on the
table. Bumalin jumped back slightly and almost fell back in the chair.
“This sheet of paper has a long-ass number
on it. Put on the ring. Memorize the number. You’ll have five minutes. When
your five minutes are up, I’ll come back in the room and give you a blank sheet
of paper. You’ll write as much of the number as you remember. That’s the test.
I’ll give the both papers to my superiors and tell them you’re a sucky demon
that we don’t really want. I hope they listen.”
The demon turned and abruptly left the
room. Bumalin put the memory ring on his finger and looked at the piece of
paper. He was able to commit most of the number to memory within a few minutes
but realized he was going to have trouble with the last couple of lines.
Realizing that he was running out of time, Bumalin dipped his fingers in the
blood slowly trickling out of his wrists and wrote the last part of the number
on one of the legs of the table without getting out of his chair or moving too
much. He kept his eyes on the paper in case they were watching him. He could
see the table leg if he turned his head slightly to the right. He ran through
the majority of the number in his head one more time before the demon returned
and took the paper away. He put a blank piece of paper in its place with a
feather pen and a bottle of ink.
“Alright. Write as much of it as you can
remember.”
“Are you going to recommend me if I can
remember the whole thing?”
“Nope.”
“Great. I’m glad you don’t let petty
bullshit get in the way.”
Before the demon could respond, Bumalin
started writing. The demon came over and stood next to Bumalin, blocking his
view of the table leg.
“You can’t remember the whole thing, can
you?”
Bumalin didn’t look up.
“It’s kind of hard to with you distracting
me like this. If you leave the room, I can focus and write down the whole thing.”
“I’m not going anywhere…”
A demon entered the room.
“Alastor wants you out. He wants to see
what the kid can do without distractions.”
The demon approached the demon at
Bumalin’s side and grabbed his arm to escort him out. He shook it off.
“Fine. He won’t remember it anyways. He
lied to the wolf and he’s lying to us.”
“Alastor said the wolf got the corpse.
This guy’s map was accurate.”
The two demons left the room and Bumalin
titled his head slightly, chewing on the feather as if he was thinking. He saw
the rest of the numbers on the table leg and committed them to memory. Within
thirty seconds, he had written them down on the paper. He waved the paper in
the air.
“All done. It’s the full number. I have an
eidetic memory, asshat. Go tell Alastor or whoever your boss is.”
The demon angrily entered the room and
roughly grabbed the paper from Bumalin’s hand. He compared it to the original.
Several minutes later, he looked back over at Bumalin.
“Luck. That’s all any of this is. I hope
you end up with me in the Philippines. In fact, I’m going to request it so I
can make your life a miserable nightmare.”
“You’re a minor demon then? Can I request
that you not be my boss?”
The demon flipped Bumalin off before he
turned and left the room. Bumalin used his cape to wipe the bloody numbers off
of the table leg.
CHAPTER 4
After a considerable amount of time, the
giant that had carried Bumalin into the room showed up. He offered Bumalin the
same sack and Bumalin sighed before putting it over his head. The giant lifted
him up out of the chair and slowly stomped his way towards an unknown
destination. A few minutes later, the giant set Bumalin down and removed the
sack. Bumalin saw a large gate and the giant pointed at it before turning and
walking away. Bumalin approached the gate and looked around.
“Yes?”
A voice came out of nowhere and Bumalin
looked for its source.
“I uh… I… don’t really know what the hell
I’m doing here. This is where the giant dropped me off. My name is Bumalin
and…”
The gate slowly started to creak open.
Bumalin waited for someone to respond.
“Well go in. Alastor is expecting you.”
Bumalin once again searched for the source
of the voice but couldn’t find it.
“That’s creepy. I don’t like conversations
with demons I can’t see.”
Bumalin started walking up the path, now
realizing that he no longer had his sword. The minor demon that had given him a
memory test had taken it with him. At the end of the road, a demoness waited
for Bumalin.
“Alastor wants to see you before he sends
you off to the Philippines. Follow me.”
“So I passed the test then? I’m getting an
assignment?”
The demoness looked embarrassed.
“Um… maybe. Hey… let’s just pretend I
didn’t say anything, ok?”
“Oh. You weren’t supposed to tell me. No
worries, babe. I can act surprised.”
The demoness didn’t respond. She led
Bumalin to a large metal door and disappeared inside without opening it.
“Wall phasing powers. Cool.”
Bumalin took a seat on a marble bench next
to the large metal door and waited. The demoness appeared a few minutes later
and opened the door for Bumalin.
“Alastor will see you now and discuss your
test results.”
“Right. Thanks.”
Bumalin entered the large room and saw
Alastor sitting in a comfortable chair behind a large desk. Bumalin nodded,
unsure what he was supposed to do. Alastor gestured at a chair in front of the
desk.
“Have a seat, Bumalin.”
“Thank you… um… Lord Alastor?”
“That’s correct. I’m the middle demon of
secrets under General Lucian. The department of lies is very interested in you
after your performance in the labyrinth. The wolf found the corpse, by the way.
What’s even more impressive is this…”
Alastor placed two pieces of paper on the
table facing Bumalin. They were the number he was given and his attempt at
copying it from memory.
“A perfect match. We’ve had secret storers
who develop and eidetic memory over
time but it’s rare that a demon-in-training has one with nothing but a minor
memory ring. Is your memory perfect without the ring?”
“Afraid not, sir. I have an excellent
memory but it was the ring that put me over the top.”
“Well I’m sold. We want to pull you from
the trials so you can begin your assignment immediately in the Philippines. Menace
went on and on about what a great asset you would be to his team.”
“Menace is the minor demon who gave me the
test?”
“Yup. He requested that you be transferred
to his army immediately.”
“Lord Alastor… I… don’t really know how to
put this…”
“You think Menace is an asshole and you
don’t want to work for him.”
Bumalin looked at the floor, unsure how to
respond. Alastor laughed.
“Its fine, Bumalin. This is the department
of lies. You think I can’t tell when one of my minor demons is full of shit?”
Bumalin grinned. He was starting to think
Alastor was alright.
“You’re being assigned to a minor demon
named Scarecrow. He works up in the mountains in the Philippines, in an area
called Baguio. We’re seeing expansive growth in that area and he needs an eidetic
memory secret storer a lot more than Menace does.”
“Can I have my sword back, sir? I took a
long blade from a vampire in the labyrinth and Menace took it from me during
that memory test.”
“Demons-in-training don’t get swords. They
usually don’t get a meeting with me, either. You can keep the vampire cape but
you’re only allowed one of these for self-defense in case of an angel attack
plus any weapons temporarily assigned to you during battle.”
Alastor placed a large knife on the table.
Bumalin took it and attached it to his belt.
“Don’t worry, though. We’ll get you some
good weapons when you become a minor demon. Do what Scarecrow tells you and
you’ll be alright.”
Bumalin was disappointed that his sword
was gone but knew there was no point arguing about it. There probably wasn’t a
great reason why the rule was put in place, but once a rule existed it took ten
times the effort to get it removed. At least he could keep the cape that
everyone mocked him for. He was starting to wonder if he shouldn’t have just
kept his medium-sized rock. No one would want to take that away from him.
Alastor placed a gold coin on the table
and Bumalin pocketed it without waiting for an explanation.
“That’s for Charon. He’ll get you to the
surface with the latest batch of recruits. I have high hopes for you, Bumalin.
You’re on the track to becoming a minor demon. Just follow Scarecrow’s lead.”
Bumalin nodded but was annoyed on the
inside. Being a minor demon would allow him to carry a sword again, even though
he had already earned one for himself in the labyrinth and they had taken it
away from him. Bumalin got up from his seat and left. The same demoness that
had led him to Alastor’s office was waiting for him outside the door.
“You didn’t say anything, did you? You
didn’t get me in trouble?”
“No. I let Alastor give me the same news.
I didn’t even mention you. Stop worrying about it.”
The demoness seemed mostly relieved. She
started walking towards one of Hell’s rivers and beckoned Bumalin to follow.
“Thanks. Most demons tend to blackmail me
when I screw up.”
Bumalin had been thinking about
blackmailing her, but thought it would feel weird after she had just said
something like that.
“Really. It’s no problem. It was a slip of
the tongue. No need to hold it over your head.”
They reached a skeletal figure in a black
hood and cloak. He held a scythe in his left hand and held out his open right
palm as they approached. The demoness turned and started walking back briskly
but slowed her pace for a few seconds. She looked back and saw Bumalin fishing
through his pocket to find the coin for Charon. She turned and went back.
“I’d like us to be even.”
Bumalin finally pulled the coin from his
pocket and placed it in Charon’s open palm. Charon pointed to the boat.
“It was no big deal.”
“You saw me walk through the door back
there. I can phase in and out of walls. It’s a minor demon power, but I’ve
figured out how to get the same effect from a potion I work on after hours.”
The demoness placed a small vial filled
with clear liquid in Bumalin’s hand and then closed his fingers around it.
“It’ll work three times. Drink a third of
the vial each time. We’re even now.”
The demoness turned and ran back to
Alastor’s estate. Bumalin pocketed the vial and got on the boat. He found a
seat near the middle and waited for other demons to arrive and board. A few of
them looked at his vampire cape and snickered. He thought he might have the
seat all to himself until the last demoness to board scanned Charon’s boat and
then sat next to Bumalin.
CHAPTER 5
Bumalin was torn. The demoness sitting
next to him was cute, but he was getting pretty tired. He ran a rough
calculation of the amount of time he had spent sleeping and eating over the
past day and the number was frustratingly low. He decided on a compromise. If
she started talking, he would talk to her. If she didn’t, he was going to take
a nap. He started to close his eyes when he felt a hand feeling his cape.
“I like your cape. What’s it made out of?”
Damn. Bumalin had been starting to hope
for the nap.
“I’m not really sure. I got it in the
labyrinth off of a vampire I killed. Did you make it out of there with anything
useful?”
The demoness gestured to the knife on her
belt. Bumalin looked confused.
“I thought they give those to all the
demons-in-training.”
“They do. Had I known that, I wouldn’t
have tried so hard to keep this with me through the entire labyrinth.”
Bumalin grinned. The demoness smiled back
at him.
“My name’s Alexa, but my friends just call
me Lexi.”
“Bumalin.”
“What job did they give you, Bumalin?”
“Secret storer.”
Lexi punched Bumalin in the arm.
“No way! We have the same job! How did you
do on the memory test?”
“Um… pretty well.”
“Oh. You don’t want to tell me your
score?”
“My score?”
“Didn’t they give you a score? I got 94%
of the number correct.”
“Oh ok. Good job.”
“Don’t be an ass, Bumalin. I told you my
score. Now tell me yours.”
“You won’t like me if I do.”
Lexi punched him in the arm again.
“Stop doing that.”
“How much of the…”
“I got the whole damn number! Ok?”
Bumalin thought that would be the end of
their conversation and he could finally take his nap. Instead, Lexi looked at
him with wide eyes.
“You have an eidetic memory?”
“Well only when I have that minor memory
ring on. My memory is just pretty good without it.”
“That… is so… COOL!”
“Keep your voice down. The other demons
will think you’re weird.”
Lexi waved his comment off dismissively.
“Oh I don’t care what they think.”
“I imagine that’s been a useful trait for
you.”
Lexi tried to punch Bumalin in the arm
again but he slid slightly away from her on the seat and she missed. Bumalin
grinned.
“So are you going to be an arrogant jerk
about your score? Can we not be friends now?”
“Of course not… Ms. 94. I mean… Lexi.”
Lexi laughed.
“Bumalin, I think we’re going to be
friends.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?”
“No.”
“Ok. I have a really important question to
ask you if we’re going to be friends.”
“Ask it.”
Bumalin’s stomach growled.
“Do you have anything to eat or drink?”
Lexi nodded and pulled a small can from a
sack on her belt.
“It’s the soul of a farmer who killed his
neighbor. I stole it from Alastor’s personal stash back there. He was too busy
to meet with me and I took it personally. We can share it.”
Bumalin grabbed the can from her hand and
propped the lid off with his knife. He took a deep gulp and drained half of the
can before handing it back to Lexi.
“Fuck yeah. That hit the spot. Now I kind
of want a nap so…”
“Are you telling me to leave you alone?
You just wanted half my can of murderer and that’s it?”
“No. I have a warm vampire cape. I was
wondering if you want to take a nap with me.”
Lexi grinned and then pointed at the front
of the boat. They had reached land.
“I guess I’ll take a rain check on that
nap.”
Lexi gulped the rest of the soul in the
can and hopped out of the boat. She motioned for Bumalin to follow. Bumalin got
to his feet and stumbled towards the front of the ship. He ended up tripping
and landing hard on the sandy beach outside the ship. Several demons laughed.
Lexi helped him to his feet.
“Wow. You weren’t kidding. You really need
a nap. Why are you so tired?”
“They took me directly from the labyrinth
to that testing room. The asshole who gave me the test took forever. He kept
interrupting and causing problems. I haven’t slept since before the labyrinth.”
“That sucks. They recruited me after the
second trial so they gave me a whole day to rest while my batch finished the
last trial. I feel great.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t. We’re friends. Remember? I
decided we’re friends.”
“Oh. Right. I hate you, friend.”
“Wow. You get cranky when you’re tired.”
Bumalin started to walk forward on the
sand. He tripped again, but Lexi caught him this time. She put his arm around
her shoulder. The minor demon in charge was long gone, a long ways up the
trail. Lexi and Bumalin moved slowly at the back of the line. As darkness
started to set in, Lexi started to worry that all of the other demons were too
far ahead.
“Bumalin?”
Lexi thought she heard Bumalin snore.
“No wonder you’ve been so slow. You
fucking fell asleep on me.”
Lexi removed her Bumalin’s arm from her
shoulders and he fell to the ground, sound asleep.
“Damn it, Bumalin! We’re going to get in
trouble.”
Lexi kneeled down and slapped Bumalin hard
across the face.
“Ow!”
Bumalin looked around.
“Hey! When did it get this dark outside
and why am I on the ground?”
“We fell behind and you fell asleep.”
Bumalin sat up and stretched his arms.
“Well I feel great. Demons should get more
nap time.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t. You decided we’re friends.”
“I just undecided that. You made me carry
your lazy ass for miles. I’m honestly surprised your feet continued to move.”
“You know you want to be friends with me,
Lexi. Who else are you going to be friends with? There’s no one else around
here.”
Bumalin heard some rustling in the nearby
bushes. He drew his knife and jumped up to his feet. He got between Lexi and
the area the noise had come from.
“There’s something in the bushes. Get your
weapon out.”
Lexi drew her knife and elbowed Bumalin
hard in the ribs.
“This never would have happened if we
could have kept up with the group.”
“Or if the idiots in charge wouldn’t have
kept me awake for 24 hours… or if they had let me take a nap and go with the
next batch of demons-in-training… or if you had let me nap on Charon’s boat…
or…”
“Shut up.”
Lexi pointed at a particular bush that
seemed to be moving. Bumalin nodded. Bumalin held up three fingers, then two,
then one. An angel sprang out of the bushes, swinging two swords. His eyes lit
up with white light and the blades started to glow seconds later.
“My name is Zephon and I’m the minor angel
of household protection. Prepare to die, demons.”
Bumalin tried hard not to laugh.
“Why the hell would there be a minor angel
of something stupid like household protection?”
The question caught Zephon off guard.
“It’s not stupid. It’s awesome. Prepare to
die, demons.”
Bumalin spoke quietly to Lexi while
removing the vial from his pocket.
“He won’t be able to hurt me. Get behind
him and attack right after I do. Got it?”
“There it is. There’s the overconfidence.
You have an eidetic memory so somehow…”
“It has nothing to do with that.” Bumalin
showed her the vial and quickly downed a third of it. Lexi nodded and started
slowly making her way towards Zephon’s back. Zephon pointed a sword at each of
them and kept his swords in line with them as they moved. Bumalin yelled and
swung his knife wildly before attacking. Zephon laughed. As Bumalin approached,
Zephon took careful aim and put his sword cleanly through Bumalin’s neck.
Bumalin tried as hard as he could to mimic a shocked facial expression.
“Now! Do it now!”
Lexi stabbed her knife in between Zephon’s
shoulder blades. The angel fell forward on his knees. Bumalin put his knife
back on his belt. The sword had passed right through his neck.
“Demon sorcery!”
“Sort of. I met this demoness before I met
Alastor. She could phase through walls and doors and stuff. So what happened
was…”
“Bumalin, why are you explaining your
potion to a dead angel?”
Bumalin looked at the ground and saw the
unmoving corpse of the angel.
“Damn. Now no one wants to hear my story.”
Lexi hit him hard in the arm.
“Wrong. I don’t think I like where the
story was going, but I’ll be damned if you’re not going to tell me the rest of
it.”
