Jehovah and Hades Chapters

Jehovah and Hades Chapters | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | The Journals of Jacob and Hyde |Amazon Download |

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Major Demons: Chapter 1

Now that my first year of law school is over, I have a little more time on my hands. I'm working a full-time job and interning part-time for a state judge, but that still leaves me some room to write. Tonight I started Major Demons with some rough ideas and Pandora tunes. I made it through the end of the first chapter. Thank you for those of you who have been patiently waiting. If you enjoy the series and have not done so yet, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. Here's the unedited first chapter of Major Demons.


This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 by Randall J. Morris

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in critical articles or book reviews.


Hunting nephilim with a pregnant Lilith was driving Leech insane. After their brief meeting with the three Archangels, they had split into three groups of two. Uriel had gone with Raphael, Shadow with Gabriel, and Leech with Lilith.
Leech sighed and walked back to Lilith’s tent.
“Do you still think I’m beautiful?”
“Of course.”
“Seriously? I’m really fat.”
“You’re pregnant. That doesn’t mean you stopped being hot.”
Lilith grinned at him.
“Right answer. So I’m hot enough for you to do a favor for me?”
“Lily, we’re hunting nephilim… I don’t really have time to…”
“You lied to me! You don’t think I’m hot anymore!”
Leech sighed.
“What’s the favor? What are you craving this time?”
“I would like the soul of a human who was very good for most of their life and then turned evil in old age and went to Hell. That should deal with this craving.”
“Raven is already getting you a new hairbrush because the old one wasn’t good enough. So I guess I’ll send Gangrene?”
“Yes. Oh and I want my pony.”
“Keshi is in Hell. You can’t ride her when you’re pregnant.”
“I just want her up here.”
“Because you haven’t been paying enough attention to me and Keshi won’t leave me to hunt nephilim!”
Lilith started to cry. Leech approached to comfort her. When he was within range, she spun off her bed and kicked him hard in the stomach.
“Ow! Lily you need to stop being insane! I’ve stopped every time you said you wanted more time with me. I doubt we’re even on that nephilim’s trail anymore. I haven’t seen any evidence that he went this way for days.”
“Don’t blame me. Blame your daughter.”
Leech’s grinned widely and he kneeled in front of Lilith and put his hand on her belly.
“So it’s a girl?”
“Well I’m not sure. It could be your son. Either way, I’m not responsible for any of this.”
Leech laughed.
“I’ll send Gangrene. Anything else before I send him?”
“Nope. Send Gangrene and then don’t come back in here until you have all of my stuff!”
“So I’m not spending enough time with you… but I can’t come in here unless I have your stuff?”
“And in Lily-land… that doesn’t violate… oh… I dunno… logic and common sense.”
Lilith shrieked like a harpy, picked up a small mirror from her bedside table and threw it at Leech. Leech barely made it out of the tent in time. Gangrene was grinning at him.
“You’re not gonna think it’s so funny when I tell you what she wants now.”
Gangrene’s grin vanished from his face.
“If I ever decide to impregnate Raven, I want you to remind me of this. Deal?”
“We’ll see if I let you live that long. Now get back down to Hell and bring back her horse and a human soul that was good for most of its life and then turned evil.”
Gangrene sighed and turned to leave.
“Oh and Gangrene… one more thing.”
“If I catch you smirking at my discomfort again, I will demote you to be an errand boy permanently.”
Gangrene turned and started back towards Hell, mumbling about how insane the daughters of Vixen were.

Leech cautiously made his way back into Lilith’s tent.
“Do you have my stuff?”
“No, but I have a gift for you.”
Lilith thought about throwing him out again but decided to hear him out. Leech pulled a soft, dark green blanket from behind his back. Lilith raised an eyebrow.
“What the hell is that?”
“Well it’s just…”
“Just what?”
“Let me finish!”
Silence followed Leech’s outburst.
“It’s the blanket I was wrapped in as a baby. I was hoping that we could wrap our kid in it when it’s born. Boy. Girl. I don’t really care. I’m just glad we’re having one.”
Lilith’s eyes started to tear up.
“Oh I’m sorry, Leech. That’s a beautiful thought.”
She wiped her eyes and then laughed.
“I’ll bet you were a cute baby.”
“The absolute cutest.”
Leech tossed her the dark green blanket and Lilith ran it through her hands.
“It’s so soft. Call Gangrene back, Leech. I don’t need that other stuff. I just want you. That’s all I need. Oh and the hairbrush. Don’t call Raven back. Just Gangrene.”
“Done. I’ll call Gangrene back and then I’m coming back in here for you. You’re still really hot and we’re long overdue for some make out time.”
Lilith giggled.
“Hurry back then.”
Leech left the tent and saw Gangrene leaning on his spear.
“So it worked?”
“It did. Where did you find a dark green blanket anyways?”
“It was draped over my horse under the saddle. Nicely played, General Leech.”
“You should be taking notes. It’s gonna be this bad when Raven has a baby. You need to be on top of your game.”
Gangrene grinned.
“Noted. Should I instruct the armies to keep searching?”
“No. We’re done for the night. We’ll start back up tomorrow.”

When Leech entered Lilith’s tent again, he saw that Raven had returned and was brushing her hair.
“I totally understand, Lily. That last hairbrush was unbearable. This one is much better.”
“It really is. Now get out. Leech is back.”
Raven looked slightly offended, slammed the brush down on the table next to Lilith’s bed, and stormed out.
“Did they find anything new from the nephilim?”
“Nope. We still don’t even know who it is. There’s no need to worry about that right now though.”
Lilith grinned at him mischievously.
“You’re right. Come here, leechy face.”
Leech leaned in and kissed her. Lilith cried out.
“What is it? Is the baby coming? Raven, get in here! The baby is coming!”
Lilith grabbed Leech’s hand and shook her head.
“It’s not that.”
Raven entered the tent with an extra pillow and blankets, ready to play midwife.
“False alarm, Raven. You can leave.”
Raven threw the blankets on the ground and flipped them off. She turned and left.
“What was that then?”
“It’s one of the nephilim. I can sense it. I feel this sometimes when Shadow is around. There’s a nephilim stalking us.”

As Lilith was uncertain of the exact location, Leech teleported in the direction she had pointed. After a few minutes of running, he saw a creature kneeling in the sand on a beach as the waves crashed in around it. The creature wore a black, hooded robe. It stood and turned to face Leech.
“Leech of the underworld. Abandon the nephilim girl in your camp and I will spare the demon armies that travel with you.”
“Who the fuck are you to talk to me like that?”
The nephilim grinned.
“My name is Thanatos. My brother and I once saved the nephilim Lilith from death. It was only after we did so that our father revealed to us that she is our half-sister. We thought we were sent to aid Shadow.”
“There’s no way in hell you’re taking her with you.”
“Ah… but we’re not in Hell… are we?”
Leech pulled the guns from his belt and quickly fired off a shot from each. The bullets were engulfed by the sand where Thanatos had been standing.
“Where are you hiding, Thanatos? You’re only delaying the inevitable. I will slay you and you will fade into nothing more than a memory.”
Though Leech couldn’t see him, he could hear Thanatos’s response.
“Much talk. Talking will win you nothing. All the same, the woman goes with me to my father’s house. I go to take her now and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
Leech immediately teleported to Lilith’s tent and saw Thanatos standing over a sleeping Lilith. Leech took up his scythe and slashed it across the back of Thanatos. Thanatos did not bleed, but turned to face Leech and fell on his knees. His eyes started to glow white.
“My father has misled me once again. While I have brought thousands to their death, I could not see my own demise. I can see yours though, Leech. I was sent here to deliver that message. If you continue to pursue the nephilim, one of them will strike you down. Your death is fast approaching. This is my final prediction.”
The robe of Thanatos fell to the earth, now devoid of its former occupant.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Civ Pro Battle

I haven't had the time to blog in a while but in my defense... law school is a life-sucking force and when it's mixed with a job... you're basically a zombie. A zombie that will one day make a lot of money (hopefully). On the drive to school in the mornings I have time to write rhymes, raps, poems, riddles, etc. in my head. I've been working on one that mashes together some law school jargon and I need to type it out to get it to go away so I can enjoy my homework + Netflix weekend in peace. Oh and also Easter. So here it is:

Civ Pro Battle
By: Randy Morris

Bro you can't hang with me
Why don't you take a hike?
Before the court grants
My motion to strike.
When it comes to the rules
I don't think you understand
That I can throw you out of court
Like I'm Judge Learned Hand.
And I don't got time
To wait around for the remix
I'll just kill it now
With a 12(b)(6).
If we reach discovery
I'm gonna give you hell
If I don't get what I want
I'll send a motion to compel.
And yes I read your brief
I think your case is repugnant
It won't survive my motion
For summary judgment.
You're gonna bring an appeal?
Bro I thought you woulda learned
That I'll have kicked your ass twice
When my judgment's affirmed.
I'm just in this for the money
I only do it for the wealth
So I won't submit the motion
But you should sanction yourself.
The beating that I dished out
Was a little too criminal
So I better stop here
Rule 1 says I should keep it civil.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Book Sales Breakdown 2014

My breakdown for book sales last year was one of my most viewed posts so I decided to do it again this year. 2014 was my third year as a self-published author. My goal was to sell over 500 books and I closed out the year well over that number. I put some of the money I made back into the books and a large number of my backlist got new covers and were made available in more formats. Like 2014, I'm going to break down my sales from most sold to least sold and all of the cover images are linked to the Amazon page for that book if you want to check anything out. When I list a current price, that is the price of the ebook. Total sold is the total number of books sold of that title since it was published.

Ebook Sales: 27
Audio Book Sales: 58
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 87
Total Sold: 116

Horror Stories From A Computer Tech, a collection of seven short stories from my time as an in-home Geek Squad agent, dethroned my article on Constantine (which was my best selling book in 2012 and 2013 and is still my best selling book overall). The thing that set it apart this year was the number of audio books it sold. With 58 audio book sales, none of my other titles even came close. This is my third book to break 100 sales overall. I made the complete cover for this one. It's pretty terrible... but that's sort of what I was going for.

Ebook Sales: 47
Paperback Sales: 9
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 56
Total Sold: 62

The battle for second place was between my Constantine article and Traveling the U.S.: East Coast History. East Coast History won by two. This book features over 125 pictures from the Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the White House, Arlington National Cemetery, Mount Vernon, Monticello, Jamestown (with excavation photos), Gettysburg, Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, the 9/11 Memorial, and more. Most of the sales on East Coast History came from a $0.99 promo I ran on the 4th of July and its better than average performance as a paperback (it came in tied for 2nd for 2014 paperback sales but actually made the most money as a paperback). This book, along with the other books in my travel photo series, received a new book cover this year.

Ebook Sales: 37
Audio Book Sales: 11
Paperback Sales: 6
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 54
Total Sold: 221

Constantine: The Emperor of Tolerance is a modified version of my senior thesis that I wrote while getting my history degree. It was my first title to sell over 100 copies, my only title to sell over 200 copies, and it came in third overall for 2014 sales. I don't have to do much to sell it, people who search for Constantine on Amazon usually see this pop-up via their search algorithms or in the also bought section on several other popular books on Constantine. This article also received a new cover this year (the image came from a picture I took, but the title and text on the cover were redone to look more professional).

Ebook Sales: 27
Audio Book Sales: 11
Paperback Sales: 10
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 48
Total Sold: 105

Explanations and Advice For The Tech Illiterate sold the most paperbacks of any title in 2014. I also had 9 paperback sales of the second volume in my Tech Illiterate series and many people bought both books at the same time. This is my fourth title to break 100 total sales and I imagine it will do well again in 2015 as I hope to release a third volume in the Tech Illiterate series. I used to have people ask me all the time where they could get some good basic information about technology. I didn't know of any guide at a decent price, so I wrote this short guide. It covers things you should know about computers, home theater, and several other topics related to technology. It also received a new cover this year which definitely helped sales.

Ebook Sales: 44
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $4.99
Books Sold 2014: 46
Total Sold: 51

My top four best sellers for 2014 were all non-fiction. Minor Demons was my best selling fiction title. It follows three demons (Shadow, Leech, and Lilith) as they fight their way through the hierarchy of Hell battling angels, demons, and sometimes hybrids of the two. It took around 13 months to write and edit and its around 72,000 words (I do this super part-time right now. I know a lot of indie authors that can write high quality 70K novels in weeks or months). It is, by far, my best selling book so far in 2015 (because I just released the sequel a week ago and both books have been doing well). Minor Demons also received a new cover in 2014, but mostly just to keep the branding the same for the series. I still like the original cover as well.

Ebook Sales: 43
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 43
Total Sold: 59

This is a three book collection that includes The Journals of Jacob and Hyde, Jehovah and Hades, and Jehovah and Hades: Federal Case. It did really well early last year and then sold a few copies per month for the rest of the year, which was enough to get it to sixth overall for 2014. The three novellas added up have a word count of around 54,000.

Ebook Sales: 11
Audio Book Sales: 23
Paperback Sales: 1
Free U.S. Downloads: 466
Books Sold 2014: 35
Total Sold: 36

Geek of Legend: The Elvish Screwdriver is the beginning of a series of novellas that I write under my pen name, Geekus Maximus. It's about a computer tech who enters a land of trolls, orcs, dwarves, elves, and goblins to fix their broken or malfunctioning technology. When I released the second novella in the series, I made this one a free ebook. There's a trend among indie authors to make the first book in a series free to substantially boost sales of all of the following books in the series (I may do this with Minor Demons at some point too). This novella did really well in audio this year as well.

Ebook Sales: 20
Audio Book Sales: 5
Paperback Sales: 9
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 34
Total Sold: 34

I released a second book of short articles that I wrote about technology in 2014 and it ended up being tied for my second best selling paperback after the first in the Tech Illiterate series. This one covered some more helpful advice as well as some new developments like 4K TVs and ultra high definition. I have some ideas for writing a third volume and I hope to find the time to do that at some point this year.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: 14
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 27
Total Sold: 114

My short article on Caribbean piracy was my second book to sell over 100 copies. It's down quite a bit from last year as far as book sales, but that's probably because I raised the price a little. It definitely made me more money in 2014 than it did in 2013. This article also received a new cover in 2014. The photo is once again one that I took but I had the title and text redone to look more professional.

Ebook Sales: 15
Audio Book Sales: 6
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 25
Total Sold: 39

The Mormon Theocracy features two short articles on the Mormon theocracy in Utah in the early days of Utah's statehood and Gregory Palamas of the Eastern Orthodox church. It did pretty well once I removed it from being an Amazon exclusive and now I'm trying my other history articles out at Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and other outlets. Like my other history articles, The Mormon Theocracy got a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 6
Audio Book Sales: 7
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 20
Total Sold: 40

I made Gateway to the Vikings: L'Anse aux Meadows a free ebook for most of last year. It received a 2 star review early on that killed sales. Now it has 5 reviews with an average of over 3 stars and I decided to turn it back into a $2.99 ebook. It did really well in paperbacks, coming in tied for fourth overall. I would like to visit L'Anse aux Meadows someday and get some pictures. It would be really cool to see a North American Viking settlement. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 11
Audio Book Sales: 4
Paperback Sales: 3
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 18
Total Sold: 40

Prayer: Archangels and Intercessory Beings was free for a large part of last year to recover from a 1 star review from someone who admits they didn't even read it. It now has 6 reviews with over a 3 star average. After I turned it back into an ebook with a $2.99 price point, it actually did alright for the year. There are some lengthy reviews that point out my article's strengths and weaknesses and I really appreciate the reviewers that took the time to write them. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 7
Current Price: $2.99
Books Sold 2014: 17
Total Sold: 37

My article on Luther Standing Bear came in tied for fourth in paperback sales. It also has two reviews now that give it a 5 star rating. This sells pretty well mostly because there aren't a lot of books on the subject other than those written by Luther Standing Bear himself and his books are quite a bit more expensive than my short article. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 14
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 16
Total Sold: 16

This book of photos and short history was fun to create. I went around Utah to get these pictures from historic locations in Salt Lake City, a few places in Park City, and Echo (one of the small railroad towns). Salt Lake City has a lot of really interesting history and it was fun running around to take pictures of sites and looking into landmarks I haven't paid enough attention to.

Ebook Sales: 14
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 16
Total Sold: 16

This book of my photos from around San Diego tied sales for Traveling the U.S.: Utah. The tiger on the cover was actually asleep for pretty much the entire time that we watched him. He woke up right as we were leaving and I ran back to get what eventually became the cover shot for this book. The book includes pictures and brief histories from the San Diego Zoo, the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, Sea World, Cabrillo National Monument, Old Point Loma Lighthouse, and the USS Midway.

Ebook Sales: 12
Audio Book Sales: 2
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 38

Jehovah and Hades was the first book I published. It's a novella of around 20,000 words. It's somewhat of a modern day Jekyll and Hyde story. Since the three book collection is also availabe on Amazon, less people buy this and the next in the series as standalones but I keep them available so everyone has the option. Four books tied with 14 sales, so I'm going to list them alphabetically.

Ebook Sales: 13
Audio Book Sales: 1
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 18

Jehovah and Hades: Federal Case is a 10,000 word novella I wrote that completes the novella collection I started back in 2012. Again, more people buy the three book collection since it ends up saving them a dollar. I'm really hoping the audio books for the Jehovah and Hades series take off at some point this year.

Ebook Sales: 10
Paperback Sales: 4
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 22

Traveling Asia: Tokyo, Taipei, and Hong Kong made me more money than a lot of books further up on the list even though it sold less copies. The cover features a grave found at the Temple of the 47 Ronin. There are a lot of amazing pictures in here from three major Asian cities. It's definitely worth a read and looks great in paperback. This book received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 12
Paperback Sales: 2
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 14
Total Sold: 25

The cover of Traveling the U.S.: Hawaii features a shot I took of a wholphin (a whale dolphin hybrid) jumping out of the water. It includes pictures from Sea Life Park (Oahu), the USS Arizona Memorial (Pearl Harbor), Hanauma Bay (Oahu), the Polynesian Cultural Center (Laie), and a nature hike (Oahu). Lots of cool pictures in this one. This book received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 2
Audio Book Sales: 11
Free U.S. Downloads: 3741
Books Sold 2014: 13
Total Sold: 28

The Journals of Jacob and Hyde is a 20,000 word novella that I wrote as a prequel for Jehovah and Hades. It has been permanently free for over two years now and has over 7,500 free downloads in the U.S. alone. The audio book took over a year to make and my narrator actually subcontracted out various parts at his own expense. The audio book is a masterpiece, the best fiction audio book I currently have available. The ebook already has over 250 free downloads in the U.S. in 2015. How did it sell two copies at $1.99? Not really sure. I think it has to do with a couple of places that have access to where it isn't pricematched to free. It currently has 26 reviews and a 4.3 star rating.

Ebook Sales: 8
Audio Book Sales: 5
Paperback Sales: 0
Current Price: $1.99
Books Sold 2014: 13
Total Sold: 13

Geek of Legend: The Goblin Anti-Virus is the second novella in my Geek of Legend series. The cover was created by my little sister, Britney. It only sold 13 copies last year, but it was also released late last year. I wrote it and edited it over a couple of weekends while I was in my first semester of law school. I imagine it will sell more than 13 copies this year.

Ebook Sales: 9
Paperback Sales: 1
Current Price: $3.99
Books Sold 2014: 10
Total Sold: 28

Traveling Asia: The Philippines was my best selling travel photo book in 2013. It didn't do as well in 2014, but it at least made it to the double digits in sales. Aside from East Coast History, this book features the most content as I lived in the Philippines for a couple of years and returned for a vacation in 2010. It includes some amazing pictures and some Tagalog words to help you out if you ever travel over there. This book also received a new cover in 2014.

Ebook Sales: 2
Not available in other formats
Current Price: $9.99
Books Sold 2014: 2
Total Sold: 7

I've thought about pulling this book several times. I've thought about having the cover redone. I've thought about making a paperback version. For now, I'm just going to leave it alone. This features all of my history articles except for the two in The Mormon Theocracy. I've thought about making it into a book with all seven short articles and a new cover but I haven't found the time and it's kind of low on my priority list. I was very close to pulling it earlier this month but it sold a copy at $9.99 and it made me a royalty of around $7. So for now it's staying up. That one sale was enough for me to keep thinking about what to do with it. I'm leaning towards a new cover and including the other two short history articles.

Thanks for reading through the entire breakdown. I didn't include any anthologies where I contributed a short story (End of the Road, The Bitten) because I don't have sales numbers for those (End of the Road is free and proceeds from The Bitten go to one of my author buddies who is fighting cancer). Here's the total breakdown of the past three years:

2012 Books Sold: 157 (156 ebooks, 1 paperback)
2013 Books Sold: 372 (222 ebooks, 139 audio books, 11 paperbacks)
2014 Books Sold: 636 (404 ebooks, 160 audio books, 72 paperbacks)

My sales goal for this year is to sell 800 books. I'm not aiming too much higher than 2014 because I won't have many new releases. I released Middle Demons (70,000 word novel, the sequel to Minor Demons) a week ago and I plan on writing at least one more in the Tech Illiterate series but I won't have a lot of time to write between law school and my job. If I'm lucky enough to land a BookBub ad (and I'm going to try to for at least one of my books), I think I could break 1,000 books for the year. So I started 2015 with 1,165 books sold. I've already sold 46 so far in January, which is a good start. If you'd like to help me out, please check out any of the books in my breakdown that you think look interesting. Reviews also help me out a lot if you enjoyed reading one of my books. Thanks everyone and good luck in 2015!